Through an uninterrupted series of Incalculably improbable events beginning an Infinitely long time ago, you've had the incomprehensible good fortune of ending up at This Page at This Moment in time. This is undoubtably the most significant occasion of your life thus far, and you can surely feel surges of Unfathomable Bliss coursing through your veins as you read these very words. Please take a moment for this to sink in…. Deep breath…. Ok, now watch the trailer, explore this site, and prepare yourself for the momentous life-changing cinematic experience that lies in your near future….

 

 

 

 

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“Challenges all we hold dear about cinema... Cannot be rated by the ordinary star-ranking system...

'Infinite' is the most likely ranking.”

-FilmThreat Magazine


Amazing, Mind-blowing… I recommend this film SO MUCH. I'm not kidding when I say

it will change your day, your week, and for some, your life.

-Lee Camp

 

“The film more unlike any other film than any other film you’ve ever seen.”

-Domani Vision Film Society


On•tol•og•ica! | änˈtäləjikə! | noun, verb

 

1. A film about Everything.

 

2. An epic and mind-bending trip through Reality at all levels.

 

3. An award winning independent experimental film in which virtually every major area of human knowledge and experience is explored. Including, but not limited to: cosmology, quantum physics, evolutionary biology, spirituality, sexuality, neurology, philosophy, and cucumber-ology. All ideas and concepts are explored in an original, entertaining, and artistic way. You’d obviously have to be a complete idiot not to see this film. It even has giraffes in it.

 

4. An experimental cinematic creation that defies traditional categorization. Not to be confused with either a fictional narrative or a documentary film.

 

5. An experience unlike any experience that has ever been experienced. Not dissimilar to the act of loading the Universe into a shotgun and firing it into your brain. See also: Mindfuck.

 

6.  The blissful realization of the True Nature of Reality, the Universe, and Everything. A peek behind the Cosmic Curtain to glimpse the Eternal Truth obscured by the Almost Infinite Bullshit. A bite from the Cosmic Cucumber. 

 

7. The satisfaction of Hidden Desires for the Unknown Pleasures of Eternal Lust. An Existential Orgasm. No mind shall be left unblown.

 

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ENTER?

Yes, I can handle it!                     No, I'm too scared.

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Produced by The COSMIC CURTAIN.